untitled

I never let it get to me. Cause it never was a problem. I always knew he loved me. I always knew it was for the best. But was it cause I was younger then and didn't think much of anything? Now I look at it and it angers me. Maybe I let her get to my head. Like how she always wanted. She always wanted him to be the bad guy. To me he was the greatest. Now it's like we have no relationship. He hardly calls. I know he's fuckin busy. But is he really busy enough to not be able to call like he use to? This is what hurts the most. It's hurts to think about it. I look at pictures of when I was a baby and he was holding me. I seemed so happy. He seemed so happy. What happened to that? Why can't it be like that again? I hardly get to see him. I wish he was still here. I wish I could still see him every weekend. i wish it wasn't I can see him for a weekend and then thanksgiving. Thats not enough. I need him more than ever right now. But I'll be ok like I always am. I wish he knew this. I wish he knew how much I wanted to see him. How much I wanted him to be back here. I wish he had never left. I wish that every time I didn't have to say goodbye for a yr... Then wait and wait for him to come back. I feel like he doesn't care. But what do i know?