What am I suppose to Say?

everything is feeling like Deja Vu. I'm sick of knowing what the actions are going to be. I'm sick of listening to the high pitched voices. Also, I'm tired of repeating myself. I guess its prolly just baggage from the fuckin effects of Deja Vu. Whatever. I just need a huge change. A BIG CHANGE. As for the changes that were suppose to be made yesterday.... I found that I couldn't sign-up cause my mother doesn't have money... To dye my hair differently... costs money and mother has none. Plus its kinda good she didn't cause I ain't goin turquoise. I'm gonna get some heavy duty bleach, and just buy red hair dye. so my hair cause just be a deep maroon. Then I can just do what the fuck ever after that. Why am I worried about failing as a hair colorist when my life is fucking just dying my hair CONSTANTLY. I dye other peoples hair constantly. I just get the fear. I live off of fear. Fear is the only thin I fall back on. I think something happened when I turned 18 and it became the FEAR year. Well now I know what to call it when I look back on this age. I'm about to turn nineteen. Nineteen just seems like to most boring number in the world. You never hear anything great about it. Thats why this year for my birthday its just gonna be low low low key. Not really gonna do anything. Cept go to a drive in movie theater and go eat in some diner that makes me feel far away from home. Well until then look at the beautiful car that I will have one day. It costs 1,700,000 bucks. Its the fastest, most powerful, and most expensive car in the world. The top speed on this car is 252 and it is street legal. It can go from 1-250 in 4 seconds. I don't doubt it. When I get it it's name will be JESUS. I just gotta be a gold digger and I will have this car. Tina says it looks like a turtle. You wont be complaining when we can go to Vegas everyday and be there in 2 seconds.